I have 3 little boys who are my world. Their father and I have been together 6 years and married almost 4.
I keep my kids on a schedule.
My kids get junk food less than once every 2 weeks.
My kids have a reward system for being good and a time out seat for bad behavior.
I teach my kids to share, donate, and to pick up litter outside.
My kids know not to have tantrums in stores unless they want to get left home next time.
TV time is limited and educational.
I don’t go anywhere unless I have to without my kids.
I take my kids on walks and to the park. We play and I try to teach them things while we’re out.
I have never been a partier, and won’t even take prescription pain meds if I have my kids. I’ll suffer.
So, based on that, would you say I’m a good mom?
Of course we do spur of the moment things and the boys get cuddles all the time. The only catch is that I had my first son at 16, my second son at 17 and my last son at 20. I’m 21 now and had a tubal on the 19th. I just wanted to see if anyone would think different of me now knowing I am/was a young mother.
And yes, my kids play like kids as well. I have a son with ADHD so schedules and structure are super important. He gets very…rowdy, if things are disturbed too much. That’s also part of the diet. And no, I don’t beat my kids. That’s messed up. And the trash we pick up isn’t glass or nasty things like syringes, it’s mainly plastic bags, empty bottles or cups. I am trying hard, but my kids still get dirty, they play in mud puddles, they run around and play loud, boy games.
I just had no structure at all growing up and find it easier on me and the boys to have things on a schedule. No complaints from them, yet. They are almost 1, almost 4 and almost 5.
I don’t see any difference regarding your age. You sound like a very involved mom which I think is wonderful. My only comment is that you seem to have a lot of ‘rules’. I’m more of a ‘pick my battles’ kind of mom. for example, yes, tv is not on all the time and i monitor what is watched – however, there are exceptions. junk food is not in abundance here, but they are kids, so i keep that in mind – once every 2 weeks seems a little tough – but we may have diffferent definitions of junk food.
as for your experiment, i don’t think your age makes you a good mom or bad mom – you’d probably be a good mom at any age.
If you are caring for their needs and most of all, love them, then you are a good mom. It’s not all about schedules and regimens.
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I, uh…sure, you’re probably great, but this somehow comes off a bit as a description of a robot designed to run day cares. Do you cuddle them at 1pm, and again at bedtime, no more no less? It all seems cold.
Is the schedule thing a confession of a failing, or do you feel parenting by the clock is the way to go?
I don’t think your kids would mind if you took a Tylenol #2 if you were really aching…
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You seem like a good but strict mom.
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If you would like answer my hair question.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnHGGLfok_U.NLhPkYXZTmcNxgt.;_ylv=3?qid=20090323182507AAXFM74
You are almost describing an average episode of "Supernanny"…time-out chairs, the "no tantrums" rule", ONLY educational TV, "the-family-that goes-everywhere-together-stays-together" rule, no party animal(s), NO prescription drugs of ANY kind, etc….
YIKES!…
I’d say, maybe you’re a good mom…but there are some critics who want to call your county’s Child Protection Services over your "weird" parenting ways…just ignore those threats…
Good luck…
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of course by what you are telling us you are a good mom. But what about the things you are not telling us…….????
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who knows. You could beat them for all I know. Good mother bad mother is not based on TV, food, or parks. It is based on nurture, love, care, respect. There are good mom’s that have children who throw fits, or eat junk food and pop. Those things mean nothing.
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Clearly, you care about how you are raising your kids and have given this a lot of thought. Clearly, you love them. I’m sure you are a very good mom.
But in my opinion, being a good mom is not so much about what you do (although that’s important) as it is about how you relate to your kids and how well you follow their leads as they develop into independent persons. Your list seems pretty inflexible and structured. Maybe your kids are young; if so they do need a lot of structure.
But what struck me is that I don’t see anything on here about the kids themselves – what they’re good at, what they enjoy, what their hopes and dreams are. To me, a good parent is one who helps their kids discover those things and then supports them as they follow their own paths. Sometimes that means great sacrifices – not necessarily of time and money, but of one’s own ideas about the "right" way to live their lives. In some ways, that’s the true test of a good parent. Rules and standards are good, but letting them be who they are is even better.
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your a great mom!
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some things your doing are good but others are bad
picking up trash on the street? thats bad, its not there job to be littler bugs theres glass and all sorts on the floor outside
its good to pick things up at home but outside is dirty and dangerous
tv time limited and educational is ok but seriously these kids do need to have fun at some point
do your kids get any time away from you? you said you dont go anywhere without them. there gona have some serious seperation anxiety problems when school starts
i think your being over controllive
they need a little bit of choice and controll in there lives
even things like picking a tv show or choc bar as a treat is enough
but they dont seem to even get that
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I’m kind of the same, except that all my rules get broken every now and then or else it’s too strict and we all need a bit of fun and flexibility. I don’t see myself as a good mum but I am confident I do my best in the given circumstances.
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Well, you asked so I’ll say you are a so so mom. A large part of development involves new and unexpected things. this is why babies will play peekaboo for hours, but they know what is coming so they are surprised but not scared. that is the precursor to things that they don’t know the result and from that they learn. By a set schedule, you eliminate the random and they do not learn to adapt as well. By setting an environment that is outside the norm, you are reducing their chance at successful interaction with society through shared background and experiences. It seems like you set your own world up and are making them conform to it while you still have a degree of control. Very new age but it will backfire on you as they grow older unless you totally stifle their development. Try to curb the limits you are placing on them and just let them be kids while they can. Have some one help you with that OCD as well.
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You asked.
It sounds like you’re trying hard to be a good mum. But ultimately, the proof is in the results. Are your children happy, well-behaved (not perfect, but good enough), and healthy?
The part about pain meds makes you sound like a bit of a tosser, though. There’s no need to be a martyr if you don’t have to be. Unless the stuff’s turning you into a zombie or making you fall asleep at the wheel, why be in pain when you don’t have to be? It won’t make you a better person, it’ll just make you a grumpier person. Grumpy parents aren’t good parents.
Also, a schedule is good, as long as you’re not a slave to it. Sometimes in parenting, as in life, a bit of flexibility can be a good thing.
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You set a great example.
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I don’t see any difference regarding your age. You sound like a very involved mom which I think is wonderful. My only comment is that you seem to have a lot of ‘rules’. I’m more of a ‘pick my battles’ kind of mom. for example, yes, tv is not on all the time and i monitor what is watched – however, there are exceptions. junk food is not in abundance here, but they are kids, so i keep that in mind – once every 2 weeks seems a little tough – but we may have diffferent definitions of junk food.
as for your experiment, i don’t think your age makes you a good mom or bad mom – you’d probably be a good mom at any age.
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